Lousy Questions, Lousy Answers

Introspection - what a word! And it will not be wrong to say that it really helps. But what if you do it the way you are not supposed to do it. 

I have seen many people who practice self-motivation and introspection. Some are real successful in this as they really do understand their true self, but some have messed it up. Lets have a look at some of the good questions to help yourself get motivated.

1. You say - "If he can do it, why cannot I do it?" Your inner-self says - "Yes, you can do it too."

2. You say - "This time I will give the best." Your inner-self says - "Yes, you will."

These can be some of the most common questions which you usually ask to our inner-self, and you do get positive answers. But there are many of you who always have lousy questions for your inner-self. Lets have a look at it.

1. You say - "I am the world's most idiot person." Your inner-self says - "Yes, you are."

2. You say - "I am not going to get anything by doing this." Your inner-self says - "Yes, you will get nothing."

Your inner-self is not programmed for giving positive answers only. It works the way you want it to work. You ask positive questions, you get positive answers. Next time, when you practice this exercise keep in your mind that the inner-self works on the same principle of GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out. 

Now you decide whether you have Garbage for yourself, or something useful.

Decide your Happiness Level

We all dream, but only few of us really meet their dreams. All we want in life is SUCCESS, and why not. We have got lot of working hard ability in us. We have got so much potential in us.

The first thing we do for getting success is dream. By dream, I do not want to differentiate between the realistic and the unrealistic dream as that we will be taking later in our blog as a separate post.

We set our targets, our goals; and start working towards them. As every one of us is different, so are our targets and goals. A poor farmer might set his target to have enough money and food to take care of his family and their wishes. A small businessman may want to turn himself into Business Tycoon. An entry level working professional may want to become the CEO of a company. That is how it is, and that is how it is going to be.

But do we really take the word “Success” as same? Let us define the targets and goals which we want to achieve as Happiness Level. So we all have different Happiness Levels. When we attain that Happiness Level, we call it the achievement of the success. But there can rarely be only one Happiness Level in one life. As soon as we achieve the existing Happiness Level, the current level gets shifted to the next Happiness Level. There are those who have one Happiness Level, and even after achieving only that level in their life they continue to be happy. Not forgetting the third category, there are those who do not achieve their Happiness Levels; reason may be anything.

Life is all about being happy. Success can never be pre-defined. Some are happy after having everything, some are happy after having something, and some are happy even after having nothing. Decide your Happiness Level, and work to achieve it.

3 types of Dogs

There are three types of Dogs. First, those who are calm and never bark or bite. Second, those who always bark and never bite. Third, those who always bite after they bark.

Neither I am writing any thesis on Dogs, nor writing a story. I just wanted to compare humans with dogs. The different behaviors of people around us can be compared with these three types of Dogs.

There are many who fall in the Type-1 category. These people do their work, and let others do their too. These people are calm and cool, and spend their whole life being honest to themselves.

Type-2 category and Type-3 category cannot be identified very easily. This is where the problem lies. We can never know whether the Dog which is barking may bite, or not. These two categories may negatively impact us the most. I am sure that many of us must have faced people whom we will never hesitate to call – “Back Stabbers, Bastards, Suckers, and Anti-happiness” and many more which I leave on to you.

Type-1 is not at all affecting any of us. Let’s discuss a simple and effective way to handle the other two categories. We all must have seen Street Dogs who bark and follow every passerby. What do they do when we turn up, and act as if we are throwing something on them? They run away, right? And if we do the same thing to a trained Dog, it will let us taste the Dog-bite.

Life is synonymous to Risk, so let us bring it here. If we are negatively affected by the Type-2 and Type-3 category of people, we will be having two options – to keep quiet and let them affect us, or to fight back. If we keep quiet, we will surely going to face the consequences. But if we fight back, there are chances that the person who is troubling us is just like a Street Dog.

If you really want to identify between Type-2 and Type-3, just turn back. You will get your answer.


Learn to fight, not to keep quiet.

Hidden-to-Unhidden Ability Shift

We all have some unhidden and many hidden abilities within ourselves. The hidden-to-unhidden shift happens only when the required efforts are put. Confused? Let me put it like this.

When I started learning to ride the bicycle, I did not know how to do it. My brother told me everything which was required, but that was all theoretical. I tried it, and failed several times. I fell thousand times, and finally learnt it.

So, here my hidden ability will be "not able to ride a bicycle", and unhidden ability will be "to be able to ride the bicycle". This shift happened only because of my efforts, right? this is what happens at every moment in our life. We do only those things which we know, and leave what we do not know. We do not know those things just because we have not tried them. Our thoughts just ignore the Hidden-to-Unhidden Ability Shift process.

Always remember - "This shift happens only when we what it to be".

Being Alone, or Being Lonely?

"Loneliness is something which we feel,
it may be worse as it may kill."

People are happy, people are sad. People may act, people may remain silent. We do something which is not expected, we do not do something which is expected. Some of us feel happy when others cry, some just start crying when others cry. This is what we are, and that is what makes us COMPLEX human beings.

According to many Psychologists, we are more disturbed by the word "LONELINESS" than "rape", "kill", "death", or "murder". Most of you might be thinking that you are lonely. The greatest confusion comes between the words - "Lonely" and "Alone". These are completely different feelings, and they often confuse us. Let me try to make them more clear.

Let me tell you about the word "Alone" first. It means you are physically near to no one. It is often considered positive for us as it may refresh our mind, generate confidence, help in effective thinking process, or can help solve critical problems. For example, you are a writer and if you are alone, then it will help you think in better way and will bring better results. You may be alone by your choice, or because of circumstances.

Now lets talk about "Lonely". In general, the word "Lonely" is considered as a situation where the person suffers mentally and face negative consequences. The person here feels as if he has lost his identification, his worth, or his understanding. A person can be lonely even when he is in between a huge crowd, or even if he is with someone who care for him a lot. Loneliness is something which kills bit by bit, and there comes the time when serious consequences are faced by the lonely person.

Loneliness is the biggest enemy of the human society, and those who are lonely can understand - why it is. A person can be both alone and lonely too. We all may have touched someone who is really lonely, and is really not in a state to help himself. Help that person, or else he may have silent death.

Is this Competition?

Long ago, we successfully crossed the "Survival of the fittest" challenge. It is just because of that we are here today. That time, there was no word called "FAIR", no word called "UNFAIR"; our ancestors just did it as they had no other options.

Here we are, having competition in our blood. Always ready to win over others. We have crossed all limits of being unfair. When my brother is progressing, I will push him down and will start my journey on his foot steps. When the best colleague in my organization is doing good, I will be the one who will be a backstabber. When my best friend in my school is getting highest marks, I will make plans to get him into the allegations of malpractice.

This is what we have become. When we win, we expect others to take it sportively; and when others win, let the word "sportive" go to hell.

Are we really made for this?

What do you do?

Every time we meet a new person, the conversation starts with the “name” and “what do you do?”. There are many of us who are doing something which is not our passion, and the “what do you do” from others seems like a big blow to us. You know why? Because we do not want to answer that “9 to 5 shift” as we do not want to show ourselves in a pigeon hole.

We do have our passion with us (may be writing, painting, playing, etc.), but that is not what our occupation is.

Let us try it out like this for the next time. When someone asks you the “what do you do” question, try to respond as – “Currently I am working as a Store Manager, but my real passion is Painting”. You will be amazed to see the results. This will make you realize your true identity, your true passion, your true life. The day will not be too far when you will really be working with your passion, which you always thought of doing.

If you can’t do it, you will always be at the same place. Dare to Dream!

That's Individualism

We all want to make our own individuality, right? It is just because of that we want to become perfect opportunists. The race to perfection is never realized, and we ultimately find ourselves among mean-people who are all alone. At that point, we realize the importance of being with our near and dear ones.

The thirst of success makes us to kick others and climb the S-ladder. Even if we can see the opportunity of the success of two people together, we try to kick him. When we sit and think about the reasons behind doing these things, we just feel that we did it as others are doing the same.

I think that we have done it enough. We should always try to take others with us to success. There are many who need our help in climbing the ladder. Do not climb without taking anyone with you; else you will be dying with your unknown individuality.

If you have made it like this, that's what real individualism is.

Busy-Bees

There was a time when things like money, power, and show-offs used to decide your status. As time keeps on changing, so do this equation.

People have started adding a new component – being BUSY. I am not going to talk about the real hard working busy people who have forgotten everything being busy. I am talking about the pretending BUSY-bees. When these bees find that the people around them are really doing great and are always busy, they start taking them as busy. Though they have lot of time and are doing nothing, but they convey to everyone that they are busy.

Professionalism, but not Actually

The word, Professionalism, sounds really very catchy to me. I always thought of being a professional, not in terms of the profession I am in, but I wanted to be professional in terms of the commitment, time, work, understanding and feelings.

There are some persons who love to call themselves "A Professional", but I do not understand "why?". If they think what they are doing is right, the same thing becomes wrong for them when they find others doing the same. If they cannot take care of the time, they expect others to be on time. If they think that they are making sense, why others always sound non-sense to them. Why? Why? Why?

This is what I think always about being "A Professional". If this is Professionalism, then I think that I would love to be "Exactly OPPOSITE to this".

Who is Professional?

Being Creative is Creativity in itself

Creativity makes the impossible a possibility, it has been said. It's no exaggeration to say that nothing is impossible. Why did God create that if it's useless to human beings. Why was it invented then? Everything has a purpose in our lives. We, people, should know how to use all things and make them useful.

So, being creative is one of the main points of it. It always knocks in our lives every now and then. If you deny creation's invitation, it also means you deny the whole expression of being human. Teaching creativity to oneself is a constant invitation. Teaching creativity to ourselves is necessary. Whenever it appears in front of you, grab it and make it as your own uniqueness. Teaching creativity to yourself is a kind of talent that nobody can steal. Care for it and merit it. It doesn't pick favorites. It gives an unconditional view and the constant invitation to play...to everybody.

Thanks to Amy Twain who is continuously working to help us in self-coaching.

The Art of PERSUASION

Have you ever tried to persuade anyone? People say that the art of persuasion is very difficult to master, and I strongly agree with them.

I feel that persuading anyone is directly related to our ears. How? People never care for your words and knowledge until they know how much you care for them. Just take yourself to a discussion between 5 humans. One is speaking and you are busy in your own world. Now it is your turn to speak and that person will make sure that he convert your speech to a simple bark which nobody cares about.

We need to listen to understand, not just wait for our turn to speak. We need to show our true feelings to what others are speaking about, no matter how rubbish they are. Listening, this way, is a must for Persuasion. And listening, of course, need ears.

Do you believe?

"To believe is to accept that something is real without having any proof."

Our limiting beliefs tend to hold us back from our intentions and prohibit us from manifesting what we truly want in life. I continue to struggle with this at times but I always chose to believe! Be sure about what you really want. Tell yourself you deserve! Yes, you deserve it regardless of your past or your current situation. You can have anything you want in life. Anything is possible! The universe wants to give you everything you desire! I want you to have it too!

I am the only one with pain

Cry, always cry. There is nothing left in your life. Those who want to cry just because they are getting pains in their life always lag behind. They waste their time crying. I am neither spreading a message for not crying, nor saying that those who cry are all empty bags.

There is no point shouting how much pains you have. There are people who are continuously getting pains but still they are not shouting, instead of that they are fighting. The poorest country in the western Hemisphere, Haiti, is one such example. They were facing poverty and suddenly met the earthquake of 7.0 intensity. Are they just shouting?

Remember that the ones who can fight, can really exist here. Do not just cry, fight too.

9 ways to Anger Management

Who does not get angry? Well, anger is everywhere. Some people just hide it whereas some show it to the masses. The best thing here is to control the anger. If you really want to get rid of anger, then you are at right place. Here are 7 different ways which will help you control your anger.

1. Slowly drink some glasses of cold water. Do not replace it with anything else.

2. Go for a pillow fight with wall. Through the pillow as hard as you can on the wall.

3. Eat if you are little angry.

4. Do not drink any alcoholic substance as it will warm up your body.

5. Just go away from the place, person or thing, which is making you feel angry.

6. Meditation and exercises.

7. Laughter Therapy.

8. Compromise or forgiveness.

9. Build understanding.

4 ways to cure your Headache

Headache is one of the most common problems faced by all of us. I know this is not a right place to put this post here. The reason I am putting it here is to help you all to work effectively without any problem. Here are four best ways to get instant relief from Headache.

1. Eyes Area Massage - Close your eyes. Place your middle fingers to your eyes that are above cheekbones. Massage that area gently but firmly in circular motion for 1 minute.

2. Eyes to Nose Massage – Using thumb, go along the underside of eyebrows (along the bone on top of eye socket). Feel where this bone meets the bridge of your nose and eyes and find a point where there is a small indentation. Very gentle pressure, press your thumbs into the points. You can do it four times by holding and press that area for 10 seconds in each press.

3. Neck Massage - Massage a point where you can feel it by moving the middle fingers of your hands to the back of your head and feel the base of your skull. Specially, at the tops of your neck that meets the base of your skull. Massage for a minutes using finger tips gentle in circular movement.

4. Scalp Massage – Let your palms of your hands massage your scalp on the top of your skull for a minute gently.

Hope it will help you.

5 signals showing you are not time manager

Time is one of the very important factor which we need to consider everywhere. The individuals who can manage their time properly always have a smooth going, whereas there are some who are not at all able to manage their time. They just end up doing mess in every work they do. Here are 5 signals which will help you know whether you are time manager or not.

1. You have lots of work to do. You have a huge to-do list, and you are changing the dates daily.

2. All the work or projects you are doing, are all half done.

3. Even after submitting the work, people are not happy with your work.

4. You are far behind the others working with you.

5. You are not happy with whatever you are doing. You are not enjoying your work as well as you life.

I am waiting to get some more from you.

Wait, and you will wait forever

When you want to do something, just go for it. There are people who just wait for others to support them. Most of the time, this wait always be a wait and people end up waiting and doing nothing. There are people who just don't care about anyone when they have some important thing to do.

Similar example is shown by residents of Tajnagar village near Gurgaon. They waited for 25 long years for the government to build the railway station in their village, but they got nothing. They started operations by their own and invested Rs.2,100,000. The station started its operations on 5 January,2010.

This definitely gives us a moral. A moral that people who wait will always wait, and people who want to do will do it in any condition.

5 best excuses for reaching late to the office

People have excuses for every situation. Some are just slow thinkers while some are god's grace. Here are top 5 excuses made by the employees who reach late to the office.

1. They were having made time with the stomach, or head.

2. There was a huge traffic jam in your vicinity, which made you stuck there.

3. When they were coming, they found their shoes heels broken, or clothes got dirty; so they went home and changed it.

4. There was some big event at home, and they were busy attending close guests.

5. They were in office only, but were not able to swipe their card.

There are many more excuses which employees can come up with, but these are top 5 according to me. Waiting for more excuses from you.

10 reasons to lay you off

There can be any reason for you being laid off from your company. Here are the top reasons for you being laid-off from your company.

1. People who are having attitude problems can face a lay off.

2. Their habit of not coming on time to the office on regular basis.

3. People keep their desk very dirty which may also result a lay off.

4. Habits of disturbing or interrupting others by any foolish act or talk.

5. Inability on concentrate on work.

6. Asking too many personal questions, or trying to master others' life.

7. Some people tend to do more or less than expected. This more or less is always unwanted.

8. People take office as a place for free facility service center.

9. Always cursing the company everywhere.

10. The company is a job searching agent and matrimonial agent for them.

These kind of people are not only threat for the colleagues but also for the company they are working with. Better lay them off asap.